Ridiculously Blessed

A great deal has happened. I am aware that stating that fact singularly as a predicate to what is to become a no doubt ridiculously long blog post is inherently redundant but the awareness and notation of such I am hoping will stress exactly how very self aware I am and not make me look (or read) like a total fool and will rather impress people with the fact that I can consume an entire paragraph with large words and overcomplicated blather and not say a thing whatsoever.

The most important element of this story includes my being the only character involved that is not entirely bedridden.

When we went to Pilar’s she cooked us all the greatest alfredo chicken stuff and we all ate and enjoyed it. Then the next day Connie, Jess, and I all went into the city and felt just fine till near the end of the day when we were all tired from walking. Somewhere come the morning, Connie wasn’t feeling her very best. There was a little cough or something involved but it wasn’t nearly enough to bother about as we had shopping to do. Some three dozen incredible bargains and no less than 8 boxes of noodles later Connie was feeling quite terrible and Jess wasn’t feeling her best either. Connie immediately purchased medication and Jess merely swore that she was fine which was a laugh because she was so obviously NOT fine because she was moping all around the Super Stop and Shop. She refused to take anything.

When we got back Jack had apparently gone through a bit of a relapse as well and was coughing and… well he wasn’t feeling his best either. Connie and he talked about just everything and Jess went down for a nap beneath the five blankets I cocooned her in. She slept like that for a period of hours during which it got dark and Connie too fell asleep. Jack went up for a nap as well… I tore into the noodles and chicken and veggies and made a lovely stir fry dinner for everyone. And some toast. There was some of that too. And I also made tea. Apparently I LOVE hot tea.

I had to wake everyone up. Jess got up on her own having slept for plenty a long time. Jack came down on his own I think when he heard me clanging about in his kitchen with the Wok. And Connie… well Connie more staggered as though drunk, muttering indiscernible words or something like them to the effect of needed more nap time. The meal apparently didn’t suck. Everyone ate. It was lovely. I took Jess home and she went to bed.

The next morning Connie felt like death. So nothing really happened that day except that Office Max called and told me to come in for the second interview on Friday. I took Connie back to JFK where she boarded, apparently worsened while on the plane, and has been bedridden since. That was Wednesday.

Thursday morning Jess called me at Ten AM and garbled out that she needed a hospital. I pulled my shoes on, asked Jack where the nearest doc was, he said he was headed there just in a bit and to bring her back here, we’ll go together. That sounded grand to me and I bolted out the door. While driving I noticed a headache building and what I took to be a slight fever. Bugger… I got to the Engineers Club and picked up Jess who looked absolutely terrific and absolutely awful simultaneously. A new feat. We drove around to the front entrance to alert the staff that she was leaving and some very businessy fellow named Ben thank you very much told us that the international students had a special center of some kind with its own insurance and whatever. So Jess got in his car, I phoned Jack and told him not to wait for us, and followed behind the Audi as it made its way to the Med Center.

Jess was forced to eat a thermometer and take a nasty needle stick for the doctor to make out that whatever it was is viral so here take these pills. “And you be careful too.” The doctor pointed at me. “Get lots of vitamin C, boosts the immune system.” I again noticed my headache and my little aches. I’ll be fine.

I took Jess back to the Engineers Club and she went to sleep. I drove off in search of a haircut. That’s an entirely different and hilarious story in itself so I’m going to save it for the next post but the gist of it is that some nutty Italian guy named Richie made my hair not so much like an amazon forest again and I went on my way back home where Jack was again asleep. I checked all the mail, decoded and watched Family Guy Blue Harvest, I ate a TON of food so that I’d have plenty to sit in my stomach for the work that I knew my body was going to be doing that night (lots of quick energy stuff, nothing that the digestive would have to slave over), went to sleep with a terrific fever, bundled up tight so as to become as hot as possible and burn the stuff out.

Friday morning, this morning, I woke up with only a slight headache and no fever. By the time I made it to Office Max for the noon interview the headache was entirely gone and hasn’t returned since. It turned out to be less of an interview than a hello, my name is Joe, this is Chris, buy some khaki pants and go pee in a cup 120 Bethpage Rd, Hicksville. So I did. I’m hired.

I’M HIRED.

Ready for the landslide? Hear this: I checked my snail mail a day ago to find that Prestige (the cabinet factory I worked for in Kansas) has been sending me checks. Three of them. One for Christmas holiday pay, one for NEW YEARS holiday pay, and one with an inexplicable 12 HOURS of vacation pay. I quit that job before Christmas. Well before Christmas in fact, and they’re still sending me money. Not only that, but the electric company sent me mail too. I had gotten a way high bill in december which was senseless because December the power had gone out for a week and a half because of the ice storm so no one was even using the power. I called to ask about it the same time I called to cancel the service somewhere in mid Jan I think… it was a while ago, anyway, the woman I talked to said that because of the ice storm all the meter reader people had been out clearing power lines with the crews and the company had (more or less) merely estimated the bills. I told her to cancel my electric service, check the meter, roll it together with the January totals, and send me a new bill. Highly apologetically she made a note to do so.

The same day I got the three checks from Pretige the electric company forwarded me a letter canceling both December AND January’s bills and wrote me a check for twenty dollars.

BOOYAH. And I’m not even friggin sick like everyone else is. Pfft.

Celebrations were to follow. I went immediately to Wal-Mart, bought a get well card, an Archie’s comic, and a gallon of SunnyD (on sale only $2!!) And I took them to Jess. SunnyD has lots of Vitamin C. She ordered me away as I was sure to get sick. I told her that I had already been sick and since the thing was viral I couldn’t get it again. She scowled at me and we both stayed watching punk’d with Ashton-worst-host-to-ever-be-on-any-show-in-history-Kutcher. It was delightful and POD was somehow coerced into stripping to their underwear to remove hazardous waste that was apparently not actually hazardous waste and instead just some form of generic film studio soup carefully doctored to merely LOOK like hazardous waste.

I came home and have been a miserable bum cruising the internet ever since. Yay…

I’ll write about Richie the barber next time. I need to get a photo of this guy, it’s hilarious.

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