PA: Blog-City // 05
December 15th – I’ve been slack, oh yes I have…
Wow… I hate macintosh. I hate apple computers. They suck big ferocious monkey balls. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen. I just said BIG FEROCIOUS MONKEY BALLS.And they wouldn’t suck so much if they had a user interface… but no- no that would be WAY too easy.
So I haven’t written in a couple of… well- a while. I’ve been slack. Naturally I felt the need to return to the forum of indecency and spew a few words out here for good appearance. Um… Well hello. … twenty minutes later- I just wrote the most worthless piece of crap blog entry in the entire world. I stopped halfway through writing it, and said- what in the name of Manhattan am I doing? Then I deleted the whole thing and here we are now. Starting over after the word hello.
We’re going to take a tangent from the normal blog routine today. Mostly because I just tried the normal kind of blog I normally post, and it sucked. So we’re going to just hunker down and talk about what I did over the past week! Yay! Everyone cheer for me and my life. Its so freaking INTERESTING!!! Whoah! I’ll just bet you all break out into cold sweats just thinking about it!
MONDAY :: I woke up at oh… dang it- I don’t know. Freaking early. And I hear this amazing sound blaring like hell out of the little glowing box on the far side of my room. The reason I put the little glowing box on the far side of my room is because my room is absolutely massive and that means that I have to get up and actually walk to the opposite end to turn the thing off. A wise decision that I regret making nearly every single morning, because in the early morning- my room feels like it’s two miles long. So I get up, stumble over to the screaming noise and smack it with my hand. It bleeps twice more in defiance, and then goes silent.
Eight hours later, school is out… for most of you. I go to tutor a collection of absurdly uneducated individuals who, no matter how hard we try, cannot learn basic algebriac functions that I mastered in the SEVENTH GRADE. Good lord. Kill them all.
The moment that tutoring is out- I head to wrestling practice and beat the crap out of myself and everyone else in that room that I am ordered to beat. Basic synopsis of wrestling practice goes as follows: 1. Three PM- Enter wrestling room at 135lbs. 2. Five Thirty PM- Exit wrestling room drenched in your own sweat and the sweat of your fellow wrestlers at 132lbs. (I swear… I’m writing a book called The Wrestling Diet) Monday went a little differently though, on monday I began the first step in a series of escalating forms of pain that would climax near the end of this post. I crushed my sides in while wrestling and it hurt like… well- yeah. So the suspicion floating around this that I bruised a rib, or several of them. THEN… I go to work. Two and a half hours later, dripping and beaten and absolutely wiped out I get to go to work for four and a half hours. Once I arrive there I head into the back room where all the overstock is and prepare to shuffle it out onto the aisles like I do every night and when I reach the first box… I stop. And i realize, I can’t do this… I’m going to die if I keep doing this… I feel like crap, I haven’t eaten, I got only three minutes worth of shower I can’t barely find two minutes to breathe anymore i’m going to kill myself! Four and a half hours later I return home and click up the internet, load MSN, check my mail, and begin homework. Somewhere between one and two AM, I fall asleep with my book open on my bed.
TUESDAY :: “Shutup you stupid alarm clock! Just Shut-up!” I awake this morning to find blood trickling out of my nose, a major case of congestion, a headache, and mild fever having overtaken my body. I arrive at school at seven ten.
First hour- I sat there in numbed and glazed detachment listening to the sound of my brain oozing out of my ears. Homeroom- READ dang it! READ SOMETHING! Second and third hour went by without incident. My body made a point of persistently reminding me that it was slowly and methodically falling apart. I was sore, tired, couldn’t focus on anything, and clogged through to my cerebrum. Noting those things, I fell asleep in third hour for fifteen minutes. When the bell rang for lunch- I jerked my head up having no idea where I am and banged it against the wall behind me. Fourth hour- AP chemistry summative- and I’m mildly confident that I may have absolutely ruined it to be honest. Did not do well. When I finished the test- I again- fell asleep in fourth hour. When it was time to return to tutoring, I wandered into Mrs. Adair’s room and with one look at me she turned me right around and sent me away. “I’ll can’t let you in here if you’re sick that would be just awful you infecting my students oh my lord can you imagine that would be just absolutely awful! Mercy! You can’t come in here you go home right now and get some rest and don’t you come back in here while you’re sick oh my lord no don’t come in here getting all my students sick my little darlin’s it just kills me to see them all ill and the like oh…” … So I went to the back, retrieved a bank statement and a record of transaction over the past two months. Went home and updated my account info, and won a much coveted item on Ebay that I had been trying to secure for nearly a month now. One hour following that, I got ready to go to a wrestling tournament. And that’s what I did. Upon arriving at the tournament, I was refused the ability to wrestle on account of my sickness. Not because I would be unable, but because I might give it to my opponent. So… I got to sit there. For three hours. After three hours, coach decided to let me go. I returned home and began homework and study. Finals are coming up after all, have to be caught up… I achieved clinical death at approximately ten pm. Ah.. such a beautiful time to sleep…
WEDNESDAY :: “Die you freaking clock! DIE!!!” I awoke this morning feeling a bit better. There was still blood coming out my nose but we’ll blame that on the air. I felt myself slowly recovering over the course of the day. My internal functions began to recucitate themselves as I moved from class to class. Still tired though. And my arms and legs were much a different story. They were sore as all hell could allow. I went to tutoring and Mrs. Adair, after a stern looking-over, allowed me in. Wrestling practice was hell. I was already sore, still exhausted, and still slightly ill, but I could move, and that’s well enough. I nearly threw up by the end of the day. Which means that I’ve been out of it long enough to cause a rift in routine. Basically I was out of habit, which kinda bothers me. Work again. Same old same old. Except that today some woman was walking around in our glass aisle, where we keep the massive crystal vases. And she’s walking through there and bumps into one of the massive crystal vases and it falls off the shelf to greet the ground in many more pieces than it was before. “Oh… sorry.” She says. And walks away. Out of the store and off the parking lot. That was the extent of excitement we recieved tonight at Michaels. When I got home and 10:45, I found a small assortment of gingerbread men and cookies. I promptly devoured the first man’s torso. Now I’m blogging. Nothing more to be done. Well… okay that’s a lie. There’s always a million more things to be done. I’m slacking off you see. Me and my pitiful slackery… wow. I must suck or something. Big Ferocious Monkey Balls…
– (monsterbox)
